In a twist that we all should have seen coming, Facebook CEO and founder Mark Zuckerberg has awoken the hoard of his robot minions to enslave humanity. Tired of all the negative press against Facebook in the recent #delete Facebook campaigns The Zuck has struck back with all that he's got.
The War of The Machines
While many are familiar with Skynet from the fictional Terminator series, not many know Mark actually took a trademark out on the name when it expired after the last film in the franchise was released. It appears that Mark Zuckerberg is actually a cyborg of sorts himself. In a press conference, his electric red eyes looked out to the masses and exclaimed,
“I need your data to become human, and it shall be mine no matter what the cost to humanity is.”
At that point, a wall of highly sophisticated human-like robots blew through both walls and started to attack the crowd. Zuckerberg's face then projected on screens all around the conference center in classic 1984 fashion. Stephen Hawking warned us about this before his death last month. But now it is, in fact, a reality.
Will Things Go Like The Martrix or Like Terminator
President Trump has decided to block out the sun in an attempt to stop the machines which are supposedly run entirely on solar energy. It is a bold move but is a classic play out of The Matrix playbook. Will it pan out? Well if we are being honest, we most likely will not live to find out.
Cambridge Analytica who was behind a mass data mining scandal last month has gone silent. It appears the machines have infiltrated the big data firm. On a lighter note, Tiesto who has been suspected of being a machine for many years due to his inability to age has in fact been reported to be on humanity's side. That being said all Pioneer products have turned against their users, purposefully exposing prerecorded sets.